Winter's Sun

In 2019, I experienced anxiety so great and prolonged that I began to feel heart palpitations.

I worried about everything; it seemed like all my mistakes, choices and regrets came crashing down causing me to feel like I was falling down a deep, black, bottomless hole.

I was constantly in fear of what may happen due to my choices.

You see, I had made some poor financial decisions and I was so scared that I could neither eat nor sleep.

I did some research and what came up was I was going through emotional distress of not talking through my emotional hurts. The knowledge of that which was supposed to free me up a bit, added more pressure to my mind.

And then God stepped in.

I was instructed to read Psalms from the beginning. I obeyed. Each day, I either sat by my window or went out to my patio to ready my psalms. Day by day, I began to get better; more confident, more hopeful, have more faith and clarity.

The voice of the Lord was so strong that I began to write and the first words that came out was a poem.

Some days God woke me up in the wee hours of the morning and the next thing the words would effortlessly start flowing. I couldn't believe it.

Since that day I have written 12 poems.

These poems are raw. They are about how even amid my uncertainties, there was a certain God who loved and cared for me.

He wanted me to know that no matter what fires I walk through; He would be there to make sure I wasn't burned by the flames. That He is always with me; I am never alone.

He wanted me to look past what I saw with my physical eyes and instead look back to see what He had done, who He is & always will be - unchanging. He wanted me to use my eyes to witness the beauty in myself and see that my life was as fruitful and fragrant as the earth.

But I had to open my heart to Him, to trust and believe that He was working for my good. He wanted me to always remember His promises.

God was able to shine His light, offer illumination, truth, and clarity as my Winter's Sun.

He turned the biting cold I felt to an ever-present warmth. When I thought I was falling, I was indeed being lifted; rising on eagles' wings. When my eyes were downcast, my chin was being lifted with His grace.

My heart of sadness instantly turned to one of hope and praise.

I felt deeply loved and cherished.

The name Winter's Sun means God is the light that shines in the darkness.

No matter how dark it may be; His light is always shining.

Winter is always gloomy, dark, and cold. When the sun comes, it brings along warmth, and glimmers of hope.

With reference to John 1:4-5 says;

4- The Word gave life to everything that was created,

   and His life brought light to everyone.

5- The light shines in the darkness,

   and the darkness can never extinguish it.

His light gives life to everyone and darkness can never extinguish it. In being my Winter's Sun, God extinguishe the darkness in me and recharged my batteries of life.

These poems encourage you to look past the surface and look deep within. There you will find God; waiting with His arms wide open.

With God, there is nothing you cannot overcome.

Anxiety is a superficial feeling where we zone in on what is going wrong in our life. As we focus on these negative feelings, they expand to cause more harm to us stealing away our happiness.

Instead of giving attention to what you cannot change; why don't you sing a new song? Choose to see things differently, choose to count our blessings and praise. Consciously practice gratitude for the things that are going well in your life; the ones you can change. Leaving the ones you cannot change in the able hands o