Suffering

The first novel written by the author Andrei K. Inkinen and it took about ten years to finish the novel as it was worked on sporadically and at times it was completely abandoned, until the manuscript once again resurfaced during rare moments of inspiration. The origins of the novel began as a humble assignment for a creative writing class, and from there it slowly took its form of a novel, drawing inspiration from real life experiences and dreams, changed and reworked to become what it is today; a story about a man alone in a big city, battling his inner demons while enduring his own obesity, loneliness and poverty. It is a perhaps, sadly, a common story that is told daily by millions of people in silence, but here I voice my view and experience through The Suffering, on how it felt to be one of the many millions of people both past and present, fighting almost alone in the dark, trying to figure out how to overcome it all and push through and reach a better tomorrow.

Written by Andrei Inkinen
Edited by Sarah Macklin
Cover art by Jr Korpa on Unsplash

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Excerpt from chapter 31:

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31 - The Discord in Kain's Soul

Darkness filled with hatred and sorrow engulfed my being, I became one with it.
2008, August, someday, late afternoon

Kain's dark side is his most feared and hated enemy he had ever known and yet he couldn't withstand its alluring siren song whenever it found an opportunity, embracing it with open arms but being secretly disgusted. His dark side tormented him day and night and the more Kain tried to fight back, the more he weakened and eventually fell for its enthralling powers. Kain always hated himself more intensely whenever his dark side reminded him of its grip on him. It was his captor, tormentor and master but he wouldn't give in so easily to it and whenever he had the vigour he would be extremely feisty and from time to time he indeed would be partially successful in mastering his dark side and even half-merging with it. Still Kain could never retain his momentarily victory for any longer period of time and he would regress quickly and silently whenever his opposite side gained control over itself. To control the other aspect is perhaps not the right way but what was? Kain fought his battles in the dark all alone and sometimes he gave up and subdued to the strong-willed, shadier side of his soul because he couldn't build up his inner strength long enough since he had no viable exterior support or any real deeper understanding of his true inner self. Every time Kain failed and subsided to his dark side he would feel both immensely ashamed and utterly disgusted with himself and he felt so dirty and unclean as if his soul had been swimming in a lake of tar.

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