Saudade, Yet Still

Saudade

I let anguish root itself inside of me

The moment I dreamt of

Us was the moment it fell apart;

With changing seasons,

swaying souls, fearful hearts,

morose minds,

How can I not long for

what never was? What may never be?

I grasp a thistle vine as

the maw below me gapes,

hoping for nothing but

not snapping

for if I can't hold onto dreams,

I must try to hold onto

what remains of me.

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Your heart. Your home. Family. Friends. Identity. Sanity. Conviction. Hope.

What is lost, stolen or shattered can never be the same again. Every absence, especially compounded, hollows you out more and more. How do you move forward? To where? The answers to building a new path as you re-learn to walk are already within and behind you.

Through snapshots of time, media, dreams, memories, and spirituality, Ahmed Ayoub's second poetry collection explores loss and oblivion, restoration and resolution. Saudade, Yet Still is a tapestry of poems that acknowledges the pain of losing what is around you and within you, then encourages you to (re)imagine a future self that is stronger and wiser.

Ayoub's first poetry collection, Kintsugi Through a Kaleidoscope, navigates falling apart and rebuilding with the pieces using the motif of a broken item that is mended together, showing new golden scars. Saudade, Yet Still reflects more deeply on what was lost in that process, why, how, and what may come next. The space left by what's gone welcomes new life to come filling it. This collection testifies to that possibility.