Out of It

Out of It: An Autobiography on the Experience of Schizophrenia guides us through one man's mental journey through seven months of schizophrenia. While being interviewed by the emergency room psychiatrist, the white-haired man in the cowboy hat that I had seen earlier looked inside. He was handsome, and even though the man looked older, I knew that it was my step-father (but it actually wasn't). After the brief interview with the doctor, I was allowed to leave with my family for several days. I stayed with my family, explaining and joking about how I knew that the joke was on them, and that I was onto everything they had been doing. Then I took on a more depressing state, as I realized more and more that I might not ever get out of this. Since I was in some sort of coma, it was clear that they didn't know how to get me out. Of course Amelia was waiting to be in my arms, but she couldn't do it while I was in this dream-state world, then I wouldn't want to leave it. She was only trying to show me that she was standing by my bedside, crying and holding my hand, and overjoyed that I finally knew at least that she had always loved me.