Eleven

Eleven: A Memoir

by Nathaniel Bell

At eleven years old, I lost both of my parents in a murder suicide. The sirens stopped. The echo did not. This book tells what came next as I grew up in small town Louisiana with the help of grandparents, neighbors, school, the marching band, and music I was making in my head long before I could record it.

Eleven is told in short, cinematic chapters that line up with my 22 track album of the same name. I ask hard questions about faith in Heaven's Gonna Ask You Why. I name what happened in Trauma and show how naming is the first step to setting it down. I remember the friends who kept me laughing, the teachers and coaches who kept me busy, and the streets of Rileyville that felt like a net.

This is not a tidy redemption story. It is an honest account of grief, anger, depression, and the slow work of asking for help at twenty two. It is also a thank you to the people and places that kept me here.

A playlist link to the album is included so you can hear the songs behind the chapters.

Content note: mentions of parental murder suicide, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Nothing graphic.

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