Contradiction

We all have our own experiences of crossing paths with life-changing events, people, and knowledge. For me, it was after experiencing a TBI in December 2020 and being told that one of the only ways to heal my brain was by adopting and using mindfulness meditation. It was then when I started my research into mindfulness and came across Jean Watson and her incredibly sophisticated way of using mindfulness in the nursing environment. I subsequently underwent my second spinal surgery in March of 2021, only a year and a half after my first spinal surgery, which was in 2019. Mindfulness is a wonderful tool, but Watkins is such an inspiring figure that it was through learning about her and her institute that I decided to become an ambassador member and was actually selected for the CCEP program. Being a nurse myself, I could see all the gaping holes within a nurse's working environment that Watkin's philosophy could fill and seal, leaving the nursing practitioner content and inspired to do their duties every time their shifts started. Practicing meditation and focusing on my inner development after the pain my surgeries have caused me helped me to notice many things that are saddening in the nursing practice and shouldn't be that way.
How can you truly put this into practice by not first being in touch with yourself? So many nurses over time become desensitized, another cog in the wheel- one must first apply these practices themselves to use them effectively. Once in touch with yourself, be it through meditation (which I strongly recommend) or in another way, your eyes will truly open to the vast need for caring and intuitive approach, and you will begin to see it in your coworkers and other staff. Once I started putting this theory into practice, I was able to see so much more. By being more aware, you become more cognizant of others around you, and can truly put theory into practice, one small act at a time. It may not be acknowledged/noticed immediately, but being in touch with oneself will open you to not anger as easily, because it will make you look through a different lens- being curious of the behaviors and acts of others, instead of the former "lashing out" in response. It's a stressful profession, and it can be "thankless" at times, but once you are in touch with yourself and truly practicing these works, it can change your life. It certainly has changed mine. Although it may not work out in my current employment, I will put it into practice wherever I am. I will be thankful for the experience if we do part, as I have learned a lot there, but have to trust that I must follow the process, as I am being guided to what my true purpose is. Fighting against these beliefs, like the fighting of my chronic pain, will only bring unhappiness and unfulfillment to what is my true destiny, which will bring happiness. I can only be the best nurse I can be; I cannot control the macro- side of any business, nor do I want to. I want to be where my works are appreciated for what they are