Boglet

There was a time when everyone knew that Dwarfs were excellent plumbers, that wizards earned a living as financial consultants and that dragon excrement was a highly explosive materiel which was why they were all arms' dealers. Those who were well informed also knew never to buy insurance from those financial sharks who infested The Mire known as Boglets. The advent of the fantasy writer resulted in these truths becoming lost in a cloak or romantic claptrap and unlikely tales of heroic derring do. That is until now...At long last in this full, uncensored adult account, the true tale can be told of what happened when a little guy went off to seek fame and fortune with a group of Dwarfs.As financial sharks go, Bilious Dogging was a typical Boglet, devious, underhand and frequently downright dishonest, especially when it came to the world of low finance. Normally never one to miss a trick, he let his greed get the better of him when he is conned by the self-styled mighty wizard, pyrotechnician and business consultant, Samphire, into sponsoring a band of Dwarf plumbers in their quest to restart their plumbing business venture. This, they claim, was stolen from them by an arms' dealing, fire-breathing dragon who converted their workshop and showroom into the manufacture high explosives. Appointed to the role of special envoy without portfolio, he goes along for the ride and gets to meet all sorts of strange people and indulge in his favourite fantasy. Nothing however is quite what it seems in this "paradoxical" account. Discover what Wizards really do for a living, the toilet habits of Dwarfs, the musical tastes of pixies and the sexual proclivities of Snow White. You will never, ever see dragons in quite the same light again after reading this tale.Echoes of Tom Holt, meets Monty Python, blows a raspberry to Walt Disney whilst thumbing its nose at Peter Jackson in this parody of the Tolkien classic.