What a Ride!

So, an interesting journey which, inevitably, is drawing to a close. The events that probably have most influenced my life have been the early death of my mother, my involvement in the Vietnam War, the births of my two children, and my divorce. Mums death when I was eleven left a vacuum in the area of motherly love and marred my ability for many years to experience true love. Love is an inspiring quality but an unbearably painful one when it is taken from you. Vietnam? Its impact on me didnt begin to fully materialise until about twenty years later, and then I didnt recognise or didnt want to recognise what was going on. Guilt, regret, injustice, confusion, worthlessness, all descended on me. My marriage failed, my daughter rejected me, and I seriously contemplated suicide. I still have problems with it, and they are fuelled by the oft-repeated images of our overseas-based soldiers returning home in coffins. Im learning to handle it, but progress is slow. My two children are both magnificent, but geography inhibits contact with them my son lives in Belgium and my daughter in Brisbane. But relationships with both are good, and Ive established a better relationship with my ex-wife, Heather. Our divorce was, I believe, largely influenced by the effects of my Vietnam experience. For a critical period, my ability to relate reasonably to others was degraded and my problem-solving capacity was almost non-existent. Something had to give. I lashed out and everyone suffered. What a ride!