It Is Not Written

At the pinnacle of his career leading a megachurch, now in his forties, Pastor Bryan Manning has ignored his solidly conservative religious background and training by secretly living duplicitously both personally and professionally. Unexpectedly one Tuesday morning, the church board chairman barged into Bryan's office with the rehearsed charge, "e;Don't ask me who, and don't ask me when, but it has been reported to me that you have been, and may still be, involved in gay sex. Is this true?"e; That question upended Bryan's entire life. Set in 2005 in the greater Cincinnati area, Bryan becomes suicidal, resigns his mega-member pastorate, painfully leaves his marriage of close to two decades, and isolates himself until he can begin a journey to find his authentic self. It is a story in which the imposter syndrome is undone and the familiar societal and religious guardrails, along with all his supporting relationships, suddenly collapse and new ones gradually emerge. The pursuit of his true self sexually, interpersonally, socially, and spiritually is the story of It Is Not Written. As Bryan wrestles with self-doubt and deep insecurities, he emerges owning his life as a gay man, repositioned as father to his children, and in a biracial gay marriage that also becomes a business partnership. The book concludes in 2019 during the Covid pandemic when he loses the two great loves of his life to the virus and experiences a deep solitude that carries him beyond his former loneliness. Sixty-year-old Bryan writes in the first person in the forward and postscript. He develops his story in the third person. This novel deals with faithfully living as one's true self, speaking clearly to contemporary societal themes of spiritual reorientation, sexual identity, societal rejection, and the reconfiguration of family systems but avoids being cliched. It is not for the reader seeking laidback diversion but will attract the attention of reflective adult readers who will be drawn in to consider their own life journey and what it means to live authentically.