Carrying the Cross

Growing up as a Christian young boy in a middleclass family in the 60ties was great, full of fun and laughter and family gatherings, surrounded by parents and siblings that loved me. I never could have imagined that I would experience loss and grief and changes to my life at the young age of 7 years old. My dearest mom passed away and that threw our whole world into a turmoil. Trying to deal with the sorrow of losing my mom there were a whole bunch of other family dynamics taking place around me, some good and some bad.  Considering that all of this might have played a part in my future choices is what I believed. I started experimenting with drugs at the age of 16 years old and that carried on into my adult life.My journey with addiction was a sad and lonely journey, full of pain, horror and disgust, not realizing the harm to myself and my loved ones and just continuing the vicious cycle is what kept me going.  I did not care about anything or anyone in this world.Finally, years later after been close to deaths door so many times I decided that I needed to do something and that was when I called out for my God, the one person I had forgotten about all these years and begged for his salvation. Suddenly a door opened, and I was recognizing my Lord and Saviour, I started crying and repenting and asking forgiveness and begging his eternal love.Then began my journey of acknowledging my ways and I need to confess everything to God and start living in his name, his ways and surrender myself to all that is him. "e;Dear Lord Jesus, I am a sinner therefore I must Carry my own Cross"e;.